Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
