Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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