Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
