Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
