some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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