can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
