Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
