Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
