cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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