It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
