walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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