Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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