i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
