I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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