At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
