Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
