my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize