Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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