dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
