Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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