i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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