i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
