there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
