I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
