I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
