I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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