You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
