is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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