its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize