She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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