I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
that's an acceptable place to lick
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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