There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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