Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize