I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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