just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm getting married
To pizza
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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