I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
