I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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