Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
