I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
