I cut my penus on the lid.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
