he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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