I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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