he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
