He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
