i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
