He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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