How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
