Pants 0. Shit 1.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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