Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
