She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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