I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
