just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
