i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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