I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
