She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
