well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
