pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
And then my night got REAL pukey
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
